Let them + Let me. Let them doesn't mean "letting it go". True power lies in our response. It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters. You can’t control what other people say, think, or do. Anytime you try to, you lose your power. You must learn to focus on what you say, think, or do. That’s how you remain in control. You are never stuck. That’s a lie you tell yourself. You can leave a job, relationship, a living situation, a date, an interview, or a conversation anytime you want to. Research shows that most emotions will rise up, and then fall away within 90 seconds if you don't react to them. Learn to just Let Them rise up and then fall without reacting. Most adults have the emotional capacity of a 8 year old and you can't change that. Any time you spend obsessing over a fixed aspect of someone else's life vs your own is an act of self-torture. Success is putting in the reps (145). Other people's success is evidence that you can do it too (151). But here’s the truth: the best relationships of your life - friendships, love stories, and family bonds - are still ahead of you (152). Adult friendship and relationship isn’t something that happens, it’s something you create(180). “Let me” be the first to compliment, be curious, smiles and say hello, and do it w/o expectation (183). Being able to have honest conversations is the foundation of a loving and healthy relationship. So don’t fear this, embrace it. A real conversation only destroys something that is fake (264). "I have really loved spending time with you. And I know myself, and I'm really looking for a commitment. I wanted to talk to you because I want to see if we both have the same vision for where this is going. I value my time and energy, and I don't want to put time and energy into spending time with someone if it's not going to go to the next level. And I've reached that point with you. It's been really fun. I love spending time with you. But I only want to invest more time and energy if we're going to the next level. And if you don't see the same thing, this has been great. But I just know myself and I need to choose to invest the time that I have with people who want the same tings that I want(265)." Every couple that has made a relationship work has had 2 important things present: 1. they both wanted the relationship to work and they are both willing to do the work to make it better, and 2. the issue that created problems did not require either person to give up their dreams or compromise their values. Love the person, not their potential (270).